Young, single Catholics find friendship, community in new group
February 15, 2022
When Josh Danilson considered moving back home to Des Moines he knew he’d be closer to family.
But before taking the leap, he wanted to ensure he could be involved with a Catholic community of like-minded young people.
“One of the key determining factors was if I could find a young adult group to get involved with,” said Danilson, who was active in the Catholic community of young adults in Jacksonville, Florida. “And so I looked on the diocesan website and I found out about the Young Catholic of Des Moines Singles Group and the Young Catholic Network.”
He also found out about the Young Adult Bible Study, which meets every Tuesday evening at 7 p.m. at St. Francis Parish in West Des Moines.
He wanted to be close to his family, but a Catholic community was essential.
“That was definitely one of the key parts – I didn’t want to move back and have my faith suffer because there was no one else around here that cared,” said Danilson, who joined the singles group first and foremost to make friends with people that share his faith and values.
“If [a dating relationship] happens – cool,” Danilson said. “But that’s really not why I am there. At my age, 32, a lot of people my age are married. There are fewer and fewer things we have in common. [It’s tough] finding people in a similar age group who are also not married.”
Danilson is glad he made the move.
“It’s been great,” he said. “I’m continuing to get involved in the Diocese. I just joined a praise and worship band at St. Pius X Parish in Urbandale… I’m finding a way to use my gifts to get involved....”
Joanna Burgarino, a member of St. Augustin Parish in Des Moines, is the volunteer leader for the Young Catholics of Des Moines Singles Group.
She moved to Des Moines several years ago for her job – she was born and raised in California. She met many people through the Young Catholics of Des Moines and the YCDM Singles Group.
“We officially started the singles group in late June 2021,” Burgarino said. “We had a picnic and it went great. The first event got 35 people.”
They try to create a welcoming atmosphere and offer variety, including a picnic in the park, apple picking in the fall, a bonfire, Halloween party with costume contest, a Christmas gift wrapping party for families in need, board game night and more. Their next event is a Mardi Gras potluck on Thursday, Feb. 24 from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at the Catholic Pastoral Center at 601 Grand Ave. in downtown Des Moines. All events can be found on the Young Catholics of Des Moines Facebook page.
The group is what you make of it, Burgarino added.
“Some people think singles events are awkward or weird,” she said. “I tell people, ‘Look, we’re a community of friends. You might meet someone there. You never know how the Holy Spirit is working… Just go in with good expectations and it will be good.’”
The YCDM Singles Group has averaged about 25 people per event.
“We still have a lot of regulars, but we see people who haven’t been at previous diocesan events. Some people come and go, but each event gets about four to five new people who haven’t been seen before,” she added. “It’s funny – their Moms and Grandmas tell them about it – they are our best promoters by far.”
The YCDM Singles Group sent a survey out a few months ago to get feedback.
“One of the questions was: ‘What do you find to be the biggest struggles?’” Burgarino said. “By far the issue was that people were lonely.
Young Catholic adults find that as they start getting older, their friends are marrying off. They often say: “I didn’t think I’d still be single,” “My friends have changed,” “I don’t know where I fit in” and “I don’t feel like the church has a spot for me.”
Alli Haag of St. Augustin Parish in Des Moines is grateful for YCDM Singles.
She tried online dating through mainstream websites.
“There’s so many different apps that people are on,” Haag said. “Sadly, most people online are not looking for relationships in real life.”
Haag appreciates the group and meeting new people, especially last year when many things were shut down.
She encourages young Catholic singles to check the group out.
“If you don’t meet anybody in the first three gatherings, [don’t worry] – that’s not what the group is about,” Haag said. “We’re having a community of single people supporting and understanding each other. It’s really hard to date nowadays and [find people] with the same morals as we have.”
The group is a strong community of like-minded individuals.
Danilson encourages fellow young adults to get involved – meet others, deepen their faith and be a positive witness to their peers.
“I think it’s incredibly important because with the way our culture is trending, the religious ‘nones’ is growing at an exponential rate,” Danilson said. “Many lose [their faith] entering college and don’t get it back.”