Do you hear what I hear?

by Randy Kiel | July 15, 2024

Christmas in July?

What would be your vote?

For some reasons, I’d vote “yes” and others “no.” No,  due to endless hours of taking Christmas down (never as fun as putting Christmas up) as well as the omnipresence of our culture’s contemporary versions of Christmas hymns. I highly doubt that a baby in a manger was the intent of  “All I Want For Christmas…” Yet, even in July, I could say “yes” to listening to songs such as Silent Night, Joy To The World, Drummer Boy and Do You Hear What I Hear.

“Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, ‘Do you hear what I hear?’”

To be heard is so important to God that he gave us priests, prophets and kings. He also gave us Scriptures, oral traditions, Gospels, and his Son, Jesus.

He then gives us grace to hear him a second time in case we did not hear him the first time. These are called second, third, fourth, etc. chances.

While hearing happens through the senses, listening is the result of an internal disposition of the mind and heart. The best disposition for good listening  is called active listening.

The skill of being a good listener is something that everyone can develop and ought to put effort towards. It can actually become an art form as well as a spiritual act of hospitality. To listen to another is a charitable work. Yes, it takes work to listen well. There are five areas that are required for quality active listening: be still, have faith, give care, use sight, restate the message.

• Be still. To still oneself is not easy. Multi-tasking while another is talking ALWAYS reduces the comprehension of someone’s message.
• Have faith. This is another act of grace. Assume the positive intent of the speaker rather than doubt and suspicion. Can’t you feel the sense of “never mind” when someone isn’t fully listening to you?
• Give care. Empathy for the person speaking is essential for successful communication. This comes more easily for some than others, but we can usually increase our empathy by checking in on our personal motive… “Am I listening because I care?”
• Use sight. See the whole person who is speaking to you. Recognize that inside all of us is vulnerability, difficulty and fear. These elements warrant the need for dignity of acknowledgment, not oversight. To fully see another is to reflect the dignity of God’s greatest creation, mankind.
• Restate the message. Restating verbatim what was said saves tremendous difficulties especially when speaking of critical and delicate matters. It prevents the dispute of “That’s not what I said!” Avoid the risk of re-interpreting the person.

The five common areas that produce poor listening are fatigue, distractions, disinterest, apathy, and wrongful interpretation. I will resist elaborating on these words because I believe that if we simply examine ourselves in “the mirror” we will see how we have acted upon all five of these at some time with someone.

The book of Proverbs tells us that a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only takes pleasure in his opinion. And later again, Proverbs states that if a person gives an answer before he hears the message, it is his folly and his shame.

Let’s explore how to use active listening in our prayer life.

First, see God as an active listener. In seeing God as an active listener, we  realize that he sits still when we speak to him. We experience his good faith in what we are trying to say. We feel the depth of his care. A strong sense of validation will be gained because of his seeing us fully. And he is  able to restate exactly what we are saying to him.

Second, consider how to use active listening in our prayers. To actively listen to God  means that we will be still before him. We will have faith that he sees us positively vs. shamefully. Our sense of being cared for as his child becomes more secure. We will feel more known because we offer ourselves over to be fully seen, and also fully heard. He will not only hear our words, for we also entrust our souls to fully engage with the soul of Christ.

“O Lord, may you and I actively hear one another. May my soul’s delight  be lifted as I more fully hear you as you always fully hear me.”